Here I am, on the square, your worshipful master. I stand here on this crafty day with my mighty brothers Jachin and Boaz. Today is a day that will be remembered and will begin the final phase of our move towards the New World Order.
8:46am: Oh mighty Jachin, you are firm, stable and upright. You are so crafty. You are a traveling man who stands mightily in the face of this “attack” (hahaha…wink wink). You shine like the morning star. There is nothing that can shake you brother.
9:03am: Oh mighty Boaz, you are Strong and Powerful. You are so crafty. Like Jachin you are a traveling man who stands mightily in the face of this “attack” (hahaha…wink wink). You shine like the Morning star. Nothing can knock you down great brother.
By now our brothers worldwide are watching you great brothers standing strong on the television stations that we control. To them watching on TV I say hello fellow travelers and hello Hiram. Are we not crafty brothers? Look at our two brothers standing strong and firm in the face of this “attack” (hahaha…wink wink). Look at them shinning like the morning star. Today begins our final campaign to bring order out of chaos. Soon all floors will look like chess-boards and the sky will forever shine with the star of Saturn.
Hail great Lucifer, for it is for thou that we do our great works. Of course we use charity as our camouflage and pretext because the profane masses can never understand your illuminated plan for them. We proclaim liberty, equality, and fraternity for the profane when we mean slavery, elitism, and secrecy. But our lies are not lies but acts of virtue in the service of you great Lucifer. Our duplicity is beyond the understanding of the profane. Lucifer, oh great Lucifer, oh how we are forever grateful that you gave us the apple in which our knowledge comes. You got us squared away great Lucifer. We are on-the-level great Lucifer. It won’t be long before our temple is complete and you will sit upon your great throne. The profane masses will bow to you and we will control them with microchips placed in their heads or hands. We, the better men, who stand in our holy room with one pant leg up and one breast exposed; but not with women, their legs and breasts are profane. Women’s breasts are best on goats showing ‘as above,so below.’ I tip my top-hat to you great lion. May your giant eye watch over all of us.
You are so crafty Lucifer. So strong you are great Lucifer. Our brothers in the media have already pointed their finger at a profane Muslim so we can travel eastward and regain control of the great Babylon. Nothing can stop us now great Lucifer. Our symbols are in all locations of power, including degenerate rap videos so we can engineer the minds of the young profane masses. We are everywhere great Lucifer. We, your humble servants are astonished and awestruck by your greatness oh horned one. You are so strong, so beautiful, so wise. Nothing can stop you wise owl.
9:37am Suddenly the worshipful master looked up and saw a giant hammer flying through the sky. As he watched it fly his smile turned to concern and then to horror as the hammer struck Lucifer on the chin. Lucifer was knocked out cold.
Great Lucifer, what has happened? Is this part of our crafty plot on this most illuminated day? Lucifer, Lucifer wake up oh great one! Ma-Ha-Bone! Ma-Ha-Bone!
The worshipful master looked puzzled but went back to praising and assuring Jachin and Boaz.
Great brothers Jachin and Boaz, see how our great Lucifer took one on the chin for us? No force on this earth could have done this. For we give five-pointed hugs and whisper secret codes so that the profane masses cannot hear us. If anyone tried such an attack, we would cut them open and pull their guts over their shoulders. The birds and animals would eat their heart after we pluck it out and we would burn them and throw their ashes into the wind. This is our great, crafty day and we will stand strong forever as surely as the architect of the universe will keep you both strong in the face of todays “attack” (hahaha…wink wink). That hammer we saw hit Lucifer must have been a gavel from our grand lodge? It was just a magic trick intended to astonish the profane masses. Oh we are crafty.
9:59am The worshipful master looked up and saw a hammer again, this time going straight for Boaz’s head. The hammer came down and suddenly Boaz started disintegrating in front of the worshipful master’s eyes. The worshipful master started screaming and put his hands in the air in distress.
Oh great Boaz, why has this happened on this crafty day? Who could have done this dastardly deed? What ruffians are responsable for this hoodwinking? Only we murder people and don’t get blamed for nutin’. How could this have happened? Certainly this was not part of our crafty plot? Jachin, let us get our plumb rule, level, chisel, mallet, compass, gauge, pencil, skirrit and square so we can rebuild Boaz. Jachin?
10:28am The worshipful master looked up again saw the hammer again going for Jachin’s head this time. The hammer came down and turned Jachin to dust. The worshipful master soiled his apron and threw his hands up in distress again. Sweat was pouring through the worshipful master’s tuxedo jacket.
Oh great Jachin, who could have done this to you? Such a strong, beautiful, and wise brother you were. Why would Lucifer allow this to happen? Please Lucifer wake up. MA-HA-Bone! MA-HA-Bone! Wake up great wise owl. Illuminate me on why this is happening. Lucifer I’m all alone. Grand architect hear me please. Oh letter G hear me. Please somebody five point hug me. Please someone please grip me. Call 911! Call 911! Call 911! Waa Waa Ma-ha waa
The worshipful master went on weeping and jabbering like a simian as diarrhea ran down his leg.
Oh dear Lucifer why won’t you get up? MA-HA-Bone! Who did this to us? We just want to help people and this is what happens? We want to turn men into better men but we are punished? Why Oh Lord, my God, is there no help for the widow’s son? I must get a grip! We will rebuild! I, the worshipful master am still here. I have my tools. Oh, MA-HA-Bone! We are crafty. MA-HA-Bone! MA-HA-Bone!
While trying to talk himself back to confidence, the worshipful master heard something flying in the air. He looked up and saw the hammer again flying directly at him. He then remembered the rule of three.
5:21pm The worshipful master joined Jachin and Boaz in a pile of dust.